Jokes: Favorite One Liners

March 19, 2021 | By pkelley | Filed in: Jokes.

These days it takes a good surprise ending to get our outside laughter going.

This is one recent lol.

 

A skeleton walks into a bar…

The bartender says, “What’ll you have?”

The skeleton says, “Gimme a beer and a mop.”

Rude pancakes

A mother asks her two young sons what they want for breakfast. The first little boy says, “I’ll have some @#$%^& pancakes.”

The mother angrily sends him to his room for cursing. She glares at the other little boy and asks, “What do you want for breakfast?!”

The second boy says, “Well, I sure don’t want the @#$%^& pancakes!”

Ocean full of beer

Two men are adrift in a lifeboat for days. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, one of the men stumbles across an old lamp. When he touches it, a genie comes forth. This particular genie, however, states that she can deliver only one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought, one man blurts out, “Make the entire ocean into beer!” The genie claps her hands and the entire sea turns into brew.

The other man looks disgustedly at the one who made the wish and says, “Nice going! Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat.”

Said by a friend
Susan Damberger
I’ll be there with bells on. If it’s cold, I’ll wear something warmer.

Such Domestic Abuse

My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

More to follow as we find or think up.


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