One-Liners on Aging

March 18, 2021 | By pkelley | Filed in: Jokes 4 Meetings.

Q: How can you speed up the heart rate of your elderly spouse?

A: Tell him you’re pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid getting wrinkles?

A: Remove your eye glasses.

Q: Females: How to rid yourself of crow’s feet and face wrinkles?

A: Go bra less, the weight will stretch those wrinkles right out.

Q: What is the most common remark made by old people when they visit an antique store?

A: I had one of those.

Q: Where can an elderly male find a younger, good looking woman who is interested in only him?

A: Check the bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a mate do when his wife goes through menopause?

A: Find a project to build a game room. When he’s finished, he’ll have a place to live.

Q: Why should elderly people use valet parking?

A: The valet won’t forget where your car is parked.

Q: Is it a common problem for old people to have trouble with memory storage?

A: No. Memory storage is not the problem, it’s the virtual processing of all the other stuff in our heads that get in the way.

Q: Do people sleep more soundly as they get older?

A: Yes, but it’s usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should old people look for glasses?

A: On their forehead.

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